In our current society parenting is a vital aspect of a child’s growth and development process. However, in some cases children may find themselves in shared custody where parents actively take part in raising their children in different environments. In some cases, some parents end up raising children as single parents or raise their children with other spouses who are not necessarily their biological parents. Step parents frequently endure different hardships when it comes to raising children who are not necessarily their own. Therefore delving into various issues that step parents face and outlining different measures that they can use to mitigate such adverse problems, ensuresthat we understand the crucial role that stepparents play towards the growth and development of their step kids.
Being a step-parent can be a good and a tough job at the same time putting into consideration that you are not the biological parent. There’s a need to consider having their best interest at heart by placing them first before anything else for instance, in Cj’s case his stepfather had the best of interest in raising him to be a boy of standard discipline.
In more than enough times, most stepparents have the fantasy that things will glue together just like in a healthy biological family where parents have the assurance of their kids’ love and understanding. According to Cartwright “children in stepfamilies are at increased risks of negative outcomes compared to children raised in their biological families.”(Cartwright, 2012) In addition to that, you forget to put into consideration that it takes time to understand about each child’s character as well as the kids to adopt having a different parent from their biological parent relationship as previously.
In reference to normal families, there is going to be rough patches and hard times ahead, since knowing or having a previous relationship with the new family doesn’t give an assurance that there would not be any rough patches for you as the new spouse and parent in the house. As per Papernow “stepfamilies differ fundamentally from the first-time family.”(Papernow, 2013) . As a parent, you need to look past a rough patch and make things better since there will be challenges in the adjusting of absorbing you into the family sometimes there must be a fall apart before a recollect to bring the whole family together as one. In the case of Cj’s step-father where Cj denounced him as his father which bothered Cj’sWstep- father and needed urgent attention concerning that matter.
In most stepparenting relationships, some issues surround them due to lack of open discussions as well as talking to their spouses and coming to an agreement concerning their way of co-parenting with their ex-spouses. According to Braithwaite and Schrodt “At no time in life is the content of communication more diverse and thus more challenging for the adults involved.” (Braithwaite and Schrodt, 2012). Communication is essential for parents to be able to agree on how to bring up children since they might be having different ideas on how to raise the children and also co-share time with their biological parents.
Aside from the usual family activities that the kids are used to, it’s good to involve the whole family into a new set of events besides the ones that they.To enable the family bond to grow stronger and trust more into the new family. According to Ganong and Coleman ”subsequent families are structurally and emotionally different from first families.” (Ganongand Coleman, 2012). As a new parent you need to create time for the kids, and gradually the new relationship in the house becomes less rigid and less emotionally draining.
Being a step parent is different from being a parent. In this matter step parents need to come together to guide, protect and teach the children on morals and discipline as per what the society dubs as correct for the better of their future just as Cj’s stepfather was doing by correcting and reminding him of his prior assignment. According to Jensen “stepfamilies tend to have systems or developmental perspectives while overlooking how the cognitive process may influence stepfamily functioning.” (Jensen et al., 2014). Therefore, we get to understand the importance of having a close relation a correcting the children with love to avoid dysfunctional families.
In a new marriage, both partners need to adjust and create room for all to modify including giving the kids space to be able to adapt and to allow them in. As a parent, you need to have more wisdom and experience that will differ from their biological parents and enable the stepparent to be able to interact with their step kids. Sweeney states that “Children and parents in stepfamilies may tend to differ in preexisting ways from those in other family structures.” (Sweeny, 2010). We learn that allowing time to adjust to the family is essential.
There is a need to accept the little things that your stepchild does and also accept that they are not going to take you in an instance. You should also allow them to go through grief since they are also going through an emotional and physical loss of their parents’ marriage and relation to what they. As a step parent also learn to appreciate the
Gestures of love and contact it means a lot to them. ”needless to say, when entering a new family structure where another person takes up the role of mom and dad and new siblings join the family can even be more challenging for the sense-making process.”(Metts, Schrodt and Braithwaite, 2017). Trying to understand each and everyone’s role in the family is essential.
Finally, this being new family rules to knew followed need to be set to enable the family to have a smooth run and interaction. Rules for the new home need to be fixed equally for both the stepchildren and the biological children. In reference to Cjs step father where he is concerned about Cjs responsibility on his school work as well as the chores left to him by his mother.
Reference.
Cartwright, C. (2012). The challenges of being a mother in a stepfamily.Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53(6), 503-513.
Papernow, P. L. (2013). Surviving and thriving in stepfamily relationships: What works and what doesn’t. Routledge.
Braithwaite, D. O., &Schrodt, P. (2012). Stepfamily communication.Routledge handbook of family communication, 2, 161-175.
Ganong, L. H., & Coleman, M. (2012).Stepfamily relationships. Springer-Verlag New York.
Jensen, T. M., Shafer, K., & Larson, J. H. (2014). (Step) Parenting attitudes and expectations: Implications for stepfamily functioning and clinical intervention. Families in Society, 95(3), 213-220.
Sweeney, M. M. (2010). Remarriage and stepfamilies: Strategic sites for family scholarship in the 21st century. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 667-684.
Metts, S. M., Schrodt, P., & Braithwaite, D. O. (2017). Stepchildren’s communicative and emotional journey from divorce to remarriage: Predictors of stepfamily satisfaction. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 58(1), 29-43.
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