As sociologists tell us, we are the product of our society.  We always tend to adopt the values of the society where we grow up. The social structures in our societies become our guidance. The things we do are shaped by the people around us, the prevailing situation, and the values we have. I grew up in a family of six. My parents were very religious and we followed suit. I took to the religious beliefs of being good always and being my brother’s keeper. Even as a child, I was always good to my friends and neighbours. My parents were proud of me and always encouraged me to keep up. I never noticed anything wield or wrong with what I was doing. Most of the members in our society were like me, religious and always ready to help.

Now I am mature and am not as I used to be.  As I grew up, I realised that things are not always, as they seem to be. My greatest personal trouble is that my friends always seem to take advantage of me. Evert time a friend needs any kind of help, I am always there to help, but when I need help, no one seems to care.  I always ask myself why I let my friends take advantage of me. Is it that I have a certain problem or is it my friends who have a problem?  Why does this always happen to me?

From a sociological imagination perspective, my troubles are not unique.  Just like a coin has two sides, there is always two sides of a person, the good and bad side. In every society, children are taught to do what is good and evade doing what is bad. However, on the way, people pick up a few bad things. Sometimes it is not ones wish to pick up some of these behaviours but situation dictates so.  I do not appreciate the fact that I always kept quiet when anyone sidelined or bullied me.  Is it that those who bullied me had a right or was I a coward?

Let us evaluate a bully; bullies are people who resort to aggression and violence in their relations with other people. Bullies are described as less intelligent than other children are. Psychologists view bullies as insecure individuals. They do not process social information accurately and are unable to make realistic judgements. They have little awareness about what other are thinking or feeling. Now, to my understanding, being a bully is not a choice, it is like a social disease. Mainly, bullies are people who have ever been bullied. You would assume that a person who has ever been bullied has a feeling of how it feels. However, it may not be the case, when a person is bullied; they may develop a social problem of not having a feeling of what other are thinking.

Back to my problem, I am who I am not because I choose to be who I am but because the society made me who I am. I never choose to be either male or female, nature made that decision for me. I not responsible for who I have become, the social structures that guide us in our everyday life make me who I am. I do not kill, not because I am not capable of killing but the social values prohibit killing. Human life is to be respected at all cost. Who put so much value on human life, when I was born, I was told that human life is precious and there the value of human life was instilled in my mind.

The fact that my friends always take advantage of me is not my problem.  It is a social problem experienced by many people. Look at it in this perspective.  The society taught me that a friend in need is a friend in deed. Nobody taught me what to do when a friend in need is not a friend in deed.  In our society these days, people are fond of taking advantage of other people.  For example, consider our leaders. We elect them but they offer little help afterwards.  Social problems such as poverty still exist in our societies even as the nation economy grows.  The leaders take advantage of our need for help and make pledges, which are never met.  The leaders never take this as a personal trouble; they take it as a public trouble. They argue that they cannot help us because the Government has not provided the necessary resources. They are just laying the blame on something. The same happens to us. We always blame something else for our problems. I lay the problem of my friend taking advantage of me on them being insensitive, but it is the problem of our social structures.

The social structures have created gaps in our society by introducing the class system. There are the rich and the poor defined by the financial wealth one has amassed. The society defines poverty as a punishment to those who do not work hard. To me poverty is a social problem. An individual is not poor because they do not work hard but because they have not had a chance. Consider the unemployment rates in the country today. Research has shown that seven people are currently competing for one job opportunity. So the six who do not get the chance are considered poor or lazy.

The real problem is there are no opportunities for everyone. The political and social mechanisms in our country have failed to provide opportunities for everyone. So if I need help but I cannot be able to help you when you need my help, am I to be considered as an insensitive friend? Then you will say I am taking advantage of you, but in real sense, the situation I have been put in cannot allow me to help you. The social structures have denied my friends the necessary help they need to reciprocate the good I do to them or the social structures have eroded the social values of my friends. Whichever the case, the trouble I have is a social trouble, which the society has created.

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