Abstract

Sexual infidelity refers to delighting in sexual intercourse with somebody other than one partner. Rising incidences of infidelity is an increasing problem globally, dating back Before Christ till to date. In a recent survey carried out in the United States by Trustify showed that 55% of male respondents cheated on their spouse with five or more people while 50% of female respondents admitted to cheating with one person. The purpose of the research is to determine if sexual infidelity destroys relationship.

Introduction

From the past decades, researchers have come to point out a specific gender has shown sexual infidelity. This means sexual infidelity is based on gender. Most of the research show men have a stronger desire to engage in sexual infidelity including short or long term affairs and one night stands. Men are also suspicious of a wife’s potential sexual infidelity, as well as more likely to discover a wife’s affair. Moreover, among women, the strength and frequency of affairs are related to the degree of dissatisfaction with the primary relationship, whereas among men the desire to engage in infidelity is less dependent on the state of the primary partnership (Prins). The topic is essential as it seeks to address whether sexual infidelity destroys a relationship or not by looking at the implications.

Implications of sexual infidelity

Trust is broken. Victims of infidelity will doubt their companion sexually and emotionally (Dineen). In some cases he or she will go to the extent of doubting the partner in some areas. “In the wake of an affair, more and more lies come out, and that makes trust very difficult,” says Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist majoring in sex and couples therapy.                                                                   “It then becomes easy to feel dubious toward your partner in other aspects of life, such as finances or parenting,” he says.

Loss of confidence is another impact. Feeling unloved or unwanted in a relationship is part of the reason why people cheat. When one ascertains that they are appreciated emotionally or sexually in the affair, it will boost their confidence (Dineen). On the B-side, the cheated person suffers a major setback on his or her dignity.                                                                                                    “After being cheated on by my husband, at first I felt embarrassed and like I just wasn’t enough. Not attractive, smart, or funny enough,” says a mother of two from Brooklyn. Surprisingly, the feelings she had of inadequacy wasn’t about to last for long. She took time alone from her husband and she started dating again. Dating gave her a cue that she was appealing and fascinating. “Oddly, getting cheated on completely changed my self-confidence for the better, and I’ve been able to hang onto that feeling ever since,” she says.  She pointed out the reason she was able to eventually attune with her partner was that incidence of infidelity was that her self esteem changed for the better.

Total shift in focus is another occurrence. A level of stress and anxiety is created and depressive episode when cheating takes place (Hall Julie H.). Affairs have been found to have some serious effect to some people including lose of focus in some aspects of their lives be it caring for themselves, their career trajectory, friendships, careful parenting can all be given up. For instances like these the affected partner are advised to take up healthy habits like hitting the gym regularly, taking up your favourite hobby and also visiting therapy sessions.

After the infidelity, it might help someone to focus on his or herself. Individuals who are able to offset and appreciate themselves even more. After one new York woman discovered that the husband had cheated on her, she later admitted that she was glad she found herself back when her marriage came to an end.                                                                                                       “For the first time in years I was able to dedicate time to myself—going the gym, wearing better clothes, focusing on my health and putting on makeup—simply because I wasn’t depressed that I was stuck in a terrible marriage anymore,” she says. “I finally had the energy to start fixing myself instead of devoting my efforts to fixing my marriage.”

According to (Hall Julie H.) Sexual infidelity brings failure to recognize your libido. To some people, sex life can be destroyed by sexual infidelity. Sex is often the determining factor especially when a partner has cheated on you even if you trying your best to forgive and move past the infidelity. Going through these intense emotions like fear, anger, betrayal and depression destroys sexual desire.

On the other hand an affair can also heighten your sexual desire despite the fact that you are not the party responsible for the cheating (Gallagher). One mom confessed that she found her husband more appealing even after she found her husband had cheated on her. “It was almost as if I felt in competition for my husband’s affections and I had to win him back from her,” she says. “We had a lot of wild sex, often following explosive arguments about the affair,” she says. After cheating, sex can act as a powerful healer. An insecure relationship all of a sudden becomes special and safe temporarily.                                                                                                                                      In another case some find their sexual desire boosted after leaving a previous marriage and excitement of having a new partner                                                                                     “Because my husband and I had been together so long, and from such a young age, I didn’t realize that I was actually attractive to other men and that I could be attracted to them, too, “says a lady from Annapolis. This was after leaving her husband after he cheated on her and she went on to date other new partners.

According to (Jayson) sexual infidelity might bring stronger commitment to each other. Even the strongest relationship will be tested by infidelity. Cheating brings many problems but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will end the relationship. Surprisingly, an affair can save a relationship. An affair can act as a test for both parties and prove their commitment to each other. The two partners should take an honest and critical review of what is missing in their marriage after which both parties rectify their mistakes and make the marriage happier and stronger.                                                                                               Trouble partners chose to go for therapy sessions after infidelity where they are able to discuss agonizing topics including emotional needs and sexual satisfaction. Being able to understand the agitation and learning to converse what affected the relationship, apologizing and changing behaviours helps their marriage to work in the future (Gallagher).

Conclusion

Sexual infidelity is a vice in the society which should not be encouraged because it has parked many people out of marriages, leaving behind many scars to the cheated spouse. In marriages where the couples have children, children are affected the most because they pick bad signals after they find out of an affair and in worst case scenarios where the parents’ divorce, they will needed companion from both parents. Couples should also be free to converse about everything that goes in their lives including the flaws they see in their partners.

Works Cited

Dineen, Cari Wira. prevention. 15 May 2017. Monday jan 2019 <https://www.prevention.com/sex/g20465626/relationship-changes-after-cheating/>.

Gallagher, Maggie. ” What is marriage for? The public purpose of marriage law.” Louisiana Law Review (2002): 2, 339-345.

Hall Julie H., and Mike J. “Relationship Dissolution Following Infidelity.” Florida (2006): 67-71.

Jayson, Sharon. ” Getting reliable data on infidelity is not easy.” USA Today (2009): 50-67.

Prins, K. S., Buunk, B. R., & Van Yperen, N. W. “Equity normative disapproval and extramarital relationships.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (1993): 10, 39-53.

Friedman, R. C., Downey, J. I. (2000). Psychoanalysis and sexual fantasies. Archives of hypotheses about sex differences in the United States, Korea, and Japan. Personal

Anderson, K. (2003). Adultery. U.S.A: Probe Ministries International Publication.

Glass, S. P. (2002). Couple therapy after the trauma of infidelity. In A. Gurman & N. Jacobson (Eds.). Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy. (3rd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.

Fricker Julie (2006). Predicting Infidelity: The Role of Attachment Styles, Love Styles, and the Investment Model. Australia

Ellis, A., & World Bank. (2007). Gender and economic growth in Kenya: Unleashing the power                    of women. Washington, DC: World Bank

Do you need high quality Custom Essay Writing Services?