In society today, numerous cases of domestic violence go unreported because the abused partner may have a feeling that doing so may ruin their marriage. Escaping from an abusive marriage characterized by domestic violence incidents may be the most challenging thing I have achieved and my life today is much better as a result of the decision. At a young age, I had the ambition to raise and nurture a beautiful family. At 25, I got a caring, and loving man and I couldn’t hide my feelings towards him. We dated for two years, and when he proposed, I couldn’t take away my tears of joy. I can’t imagine the excitement on that day!

Five years after our church wedding, we were blessed with a daughter. Things drastically changed. My husband started becoming a sad and bitter man. Despite my efforts to understand him and the reasons behind the drastic change, all were fruitless. He became the kind of person who always thought that everything in life was aimed at him. He, therefore, took his frustrations and anger out on me by physically abusing me. Four years later, things were getting worse, and I decided to run away from the physical abuse I was getting. I asked for a divorce and at first, felt as if my problems would be over. On several occasions in our marriage, he had gotten violent with me, slapping me countless times on my face leaving several bruises that could be evident the following day. Sometimes, I had to lie to my friends that it was a small accident, to hide the frustration I was going through. By the time we were getting the divorce, what used to be a flowery marriage had fallen apart.

During the divorce, we agreed with him that our daughter would be staying with him, at least until the end of the school year, before deciding what next. I informed my lawyer of the agreement, and he noted the same. Any custody agreement would be made after the child completes her year one studies. One week before the school closing, I visited my lawyer with details to enable him help me build a case for custody, alimony, and child support. He then informed me that my ex-husband had filed a lawsuit for full custody of the child and even wanted me to pay for child support.

He built merit for his case. He claimed that I had moved far away from the school district, closer to my work area and I could make more money than him. He argued that he was working close to home and was much flexible with his hours, an argument that my lawyer claimed may make the judge look the other way. Moving so far away from the school district may send a message that I was not much concerned about the well-being of our daughter. However, I just wanted to move away from him, not my daughter.

The first hearing was scheduled, and as expected, I presented myself with hopes of having the custody of my daughter, after the abuse. I told my side of the story and informed the court of my willingness to move back to the school district. However, my ex-husband lied to the court that I was still smoking weed and reiterated the impacts that would have on the life of our daughter. He presented evidence from a close friend of mine that I am still taking the drug. While in college, I had previously smoked weed on a few occasions, out of peer influence. I had Facebook posts that indicated signs of weed smoking. He presented all these to the court, and everything was frustrating. During this time, my daughter was spending 3-4 days with me and 3-4 days with him.We used to text each other where and when to meet to pick up the child. On several occasions, she could jump onto me and hold me tight. She did not want to leave my presence. I had to talk to her and convince her to go with daddy. One day, she utterly refused to spend the rest of the week with daddy as required by the court. My interventions were all in vain.I did not know that my ex-husband was getting upset. He grabbed her hands by force, and while screaming”mummy,”he forced her into his car. I definitely couldn’t stand that. I got mad and confronted him to let go of her. Seemingly not done with me, he slapped me three times, and I had to run away. He was capable of injuring me in the watch of our daughter. I called the police who came to the scene immediately and heard our sides of the story. CCTVfootagewas given to shed light into the scene.

On the next child custody hearing, my lawyer narrated the incidence in the court and played the surveillance footage, clearly showing him harass our daughter and abuse me again infront of her. He then came out claiming that he was defending himself from the way I confronted him. He said that all the time in our marriage, I had been a drug-abusing monster who used to abuse him domestically when in the real sense; I have never laid a hand on him. Shockingly, the court ruled on his favor. That was the most frustrating moment I have ever experienced. After being abused in a marriage, I sacrificed a lot to build, he planted evidence to deny me the custody of our daughter.

I will now have to see her on weekends and holidays. Further inflicting the pain, the court ruled that I would pay him $500 every month in child support. I believe that justice was not served in this case. The court ignored my plea and evidence and accepted his fabrications and lies. I feel that it is time for the American family courts to be reformed. It is still damaging to me to see the same monster who destroyed our marriage raise our daughter.In most cases, a mother is much more concerned about the well-being of her child and would always be more nurturing than the father. Looking back at what happened, I believe that many women have gone or are going through the same predicament that I experienced and there is no justice served. Living away from the family you ever dreamt of having is the most challenging thing. Justice must be served in our American courts!

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