Hi Anthony

You have a good and well thought out paper. To begin with, l shall point out on the structural element of the paper. The paper has followed a clear structure as per the instructions. There is an introduction that stimulates the reader on the issue that is going to be tackled. You have begun by putting forward some statistics that show the current state of affairs. There is also a good explanation of the method to be used in developing the analysis for the paper. The paper has continued to showcase the extent of the problem, and the policy that has been devised to help in solving this problem. There is detailed information on the implementation process and results that have accrued as a result. When it comes to the contents of the paper, there is a deep analysis of different aspects. One of the ways that you have used to do this is by using varying data to prove some facts in elaborating the state of affairs. Among the areas that this aspect has been demonstrated is the analysis of educational attainment rate by ethnicity and race. This would help in analyzing whether race and ethnicity contribute the problem issue at hand. With such information, it would be easier to identify ways of coming up with the most appropriate mechanism for solving the problem.  The results section has also used some statistics to show the impact the policy implementation brought about in light of the existing problem.  This is helpful in showing the actual impact that has accrued.

Despite the paper having these positive aspects, there are also some visible limitations too.  You already set the bar high by trying to show some statistics on some of the critical issues that have been included in the paper. For this reason, I find a weakness in the introduction of the problem of educational attainment in Southern California. You have commenced by stating that the region experiences the lowest attainment rate when it comes to this issue. What data are you discussing about here? What other areas are you comparing it to? It would have been clearer and convincing if you showed the data that you are talking about in this case. This gives a more vivid description into the state of affairs. That statement on its own seems to be hanging.  The other issue is the chart that you provided on “Educational Attainment by Race and Ethnicity.” What was the ultimate purpose of this chart? The presence of such a chart gives a reader an expectation of finding information that explains why these figures tend to differ for different ethnicities.  It would have made more sense if there was an explanation of what this figures meant for Southern California in terms of educational attainment and the policy being implemented.

In conclusion, the paper follows a coherent structure that incorporates all the required sections. The content involved is adequate and appropriately demonstrated. However, there are sections that would have been better with more elaboration as mentioned above.

Response to Critique

Hi Anthony,

First I have to make a general comment regarding your critique. It only focused on the negative aspects of the paper but completely failed to acknowledge the positive aspects. Now on the issues mentioned, there is one thing to take into account while preparing this paper. The paper only allows for a maximum of 10 pages in the write-up. There is a lot of information regarding the ACA in Southern California. This means that not everything about this issue can be included in the paper. I had to choose the aspects that I deemed more important as per the structure of the paper. You have asked whether I came across health programs in California during my research, and my answer is yes. They are numerous including Coordinated Care Management and Assisted Living Waiver among others. It would not be feasible to explain all these programs and still remain within the stipulated requirements of the paper structure and length. I also think that the implementation section contains reasonable information given the nature of the paper. The section has mentioned the instruments that have been used, the stakeholders involved, the role of bureaucracy and the cost involved. I agree that the results section required more data to showcase the actual changes that have accrued as a result of the implementation of ACA. That is something I would consider while writing the next paper.

 
Do you need an Original High Quality Academic Custom Essay?