1. Be distracted

Researchers conducted a study where they initiated two traffic jams. In one of them, the drivers were left to their own devices, huffing, puffing, cursing, and fussing the entire time. In the other, the researchers created three distractions in the form of a puppy being walked down the road alongside the vehicles, an attractive man and a beautiful woman walking by, and a person doing stupid funny things nearby. The variables being tested in these scenarios were fuzzy and warm, sexy and funny, respectively.

 

The researchers studied both groups to determine the frequency of them displaying their anger by yelling, honking, shooting their fingers and stomping around outside their vehicles. The distracted group had fewer displays of anger, and the distraction that worked best was that of humor. From these findings, you can already see how having funny distractions, especially in situations and places that trigger your anger the most could work to keep off the anger.

 

Befriend Google

The next time your anger has accumulated and you feel like your head is about to blow up with rage, especially driven by an issue you are sure should not get you mad, look on to the internet for help. Go ahead and Google funny videos and stories that have some familiarity with the issue you are handling. Find hilarious videos of people doing what you are doing or an even sillier response, and laugh your heart out. The benefit of dong this is that it enables you to take your situation lightly. It also takes you out of the situation somewhat, making it easier for you to laugh at the other people’s situations, and in the process, not fuss about your own.

 

 

Use the math

If you spend an hour of your day laughing with friends, watching funny videos or a movie, it means that you have lessened the time you got to be angry by an hour. Therefore, if you are awake for 16 hours a day, you can only fuss for 15 of them. The more time you spend being happy, not necessarily watching movies and videos, the lesser time you have to be sad.

 

Be angry in a funny way

Rather than expressing your anger in your usual disgruntled manner, try expressing it in a way that gets you and others around you to laugh. For example, you could curse in a foreign language that others do not understand. As you circumvent your usual reactions and replies to anger, your brain will start to grasp the comic effect quicker and to let go of the negative emotions.

 

Make jokes about it

We always assume that comedians do not get angry because they are continually making jokes and always seem happy. However, they go through the confusion, embarrassment, annoyance, and frustration that the rest of us have to endure. Without it, they would have nothing to write comedy about. Therefore, the next time you are upset about something, especially about the not-so-heavy stuff, behave like a comedian and make fun out of it.

 

If by chance you are around an angry person who cant seem to crack a smile, assuming the issue he is angry about is light and the two of you are familiar with each other, go ahead and make him laugh. A story is told about a police officer who got a call to a home by neighbors who complained about the shouting match going on inside the house. As the police officer approached the front porch, the shouting escalates and right in front of her, a tv gets thrown down from the second floor, and it instantly crashes at her feet. Instead of becoming angry and perceiving this to be a personal attack, the police officer proceeds to the front door and knocks on it. “Who is there?” a man from inside yells. “T.V. repair,” the officer yells back. The man inside laughed so hard, and the laughter diffused the tension a bit, allowing the people inside to open the door, and for the police officer to enter the house safely.

 

In tense situations, a joke is an ideal icebreaker. It lightens the mood and puts the feelings of those in the house back to perspective. In situations where you find yourself angry and cannot tell why, try to crack some jokes about it. Do not be sarcastic though, because this is not your typical environment that supports humor; sarcasm may hurt other people’s feelings.

 

12. Forgive and Let Go

 

We all have been hurt at a point point in life. Your child refused to heed to your cancel and started abusing drugs. Your partner cheated on you and had an affair. A colleague sabotaged your work so he ould get the promotion, a parent constantly abused you verbally,physically and even sexually in your childhood. People have had very traumatic experiences. Wounds caused by issues like these can last a long time; they could cause you so much bitterness, anger and a desire to retaliate.

 

Nevertheless, the secret to overcoming the hurt is in forgiveness. Hard as it may sound, if you do not forgive, you may end up being the one who has to pay dearly. However, when you choose to forgive, you also choose hope, happiness, peace, joy, and gratitude.

 

Forgivenness may have different meanings to different people, but it basically refers to the decision to let go of the thoughts of retaliation and all manner of resentment. You may always remember the words or the act that caused you considerable pain, but forgiving lessens the grip the hurt has on you, allowing you to be free from the control of what harmed you. It is also likely that just by choosing to forgive, you will become empathetic, understanding and even develop compassion for the person that hurt you.

 

Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse what was done to you either, or that you become friends with the perpetrator. It is only meant to bring you some pristine peace to help you maneuver through life more easily.

 

Some of the benefits of forgiving include:

It improves your mental health and wellness

Boosts your self esteem

Enables you to have healthier relationships

Improves your mental health

Makes you feel less depressed

Enables you to release all the stress, anxiety and hostility you may be holding

Lowers your blood pressure

 

Holding a grudge is so much easier than forgiving. A grudge means that you are acknowledging and holding on to what a person that you loved or who should have loved you, did to you. It causes all the right emotions, those that go with what was done to you. You could feel confused, sad, and angry. However, negativity does not produce any good outcome. Therefore, if you allow these negative feelings to crowd the positive ones, you will find yourself immersed and covered up in bitterness and strong sense of injustice.

 

The effects of holding a grudge include:

A grudge causes you to lose the enriching and valued connectedness you share with others

It causes you to carry with you all the bitterness and anger that you hold into every relationship in your life, putting you at odds with the people in your life, and denying you the opportunity to enjoy new relationships

Grudges cause their holders to become so engrossed in what happened in the past so much that they forget what happened in the past

You develop anxiety and depression

You may sometimes feel like despairing because you feel that your life has lost meaning, or that you are at odds with your belief system

 

Reaching the state of forgiveness

Reaching the state of forgiving is quite a difficult but achievable task. When you forgive, it means that you are now entering into a new commitment with yourself to change by becoming accepting of the value that forgiveness has to offer you and the dynamics by which it can change your life. You must also have identified the areas of your life that require healing, and have a list of the people you need to forgive. If you are open to it, consider seeing a counselor or getting into a support group to receive assistance going through the situation.

 

Achieving forgiveness also makes it necessary for you to acknowledge the emotions that you feel in regard to the ill that was done to you, and how these emotions have affected your behavior. You must then purpose to release them, along with the accompanying behavior, and agree with yourself that it is time to forgive the offender. Once you have made up your mind, you are likely to go through the process more comfortably, and you will not think of turning around. Lastly, choose to walk away from a victim’s identity and to release the hold the offender has had over your life.

 

You will no longer allow grudges to define you, and you will no longer evaluate the quality of your life by the extent to which you have been hurt.

 

When forgiving is difficult

Forgiving can be quite difficult, especially when the person who offended you does not acknowledge his responsibility, or if he or she continues to hurt you in the same way occasionally. When this happens, you are likely feel stuck. However, you should not let anything stand in the way of your personal growth. If you already decided to forgive, nothing should keep you from doing just that, not even the offender.

 

Therefore, when this happens, you can choose to take up some strategies to make coping with the situation easier. First, become empathetic so that you are able to see the situation from the other party’s viewpoint. Ask yourself what could be causing the person to behave as he or she does. It is possible that you would have reacted in the same way, had you been in the circumstances and situation that the person is in. Think also, of the times when you hurt others, and they forgave you too. Consider returning the favor by forgiving an undeserving person.

 

Journaling, prayer and guided meditation could also help to ease the intensity of the negative emotions. You could also talk to someone you look up to for advice on the steps you ought to take. This pers0n could be an impartial loved one, a religious leader, a friend or a mental health services provider. These people will provide you with an objective review of the situation, and will help make the process of forgiving easier.

 

You need to be aware of the nature of forgiveness as a process that needs to be done repeatedly. You do not just wake up, forgive and move on. Even the small mistakes need to be forgiven repeatedly so that the hurt does not build up and cause large emotional wounds.

 

Kindly note that you do not forgive so that the individual can change his behavior. Forgiveness is somewhat selfish because you forgive for your benefit, not for the benefit of the other party.

 

You should also know that forgiving does not necessitate reconciliation. Only reconcile with people with whom you share an important relationship, and even then, it is not a requirement. It would be impossible to reconcile with someone who has died or one who is unwilling to speak to you. However, this does not means that you shouldn’t forgive them; you must forgive, even when reconciliation is absent.

 

Let go

Once you have forgiven, you need to let the anger and the resentment go. You must also release from your remembrance the painful words or acts, and the memories of the pain, the sleepless nights, the worry and the tears you shed. By letting go, you are releasing the emotions that are tied to each of these events.

 

Once you do that, remembering either of these acts should not drive you to tears and the memory of the offender should not drive you to anger either. You will have released all the emotion, and your brain too will start to burry these events so that they are no longer in your conscious part, and you are able to move on from that.

 

Conclusion

 

Thank for making it through to the end of Anger Management: 12 Step Guide to Recognize and Control Anger, Develop Emotional Intelligence, and Self Discipline let’s hope it was informative and able to provide you with all of the tools you need to achieve your goals whatever it is that they may be. Each of us struggles with some unresolved emotions of anger at various points of our lives, and it is important that we learn how to recognize and deal with the negative emotions in an easy sequential way that will guarantee you emotional growth, happiness, peace and increased satisfaction.

 

The next step is to take up these 12 steps to get over anger in your own life by systematically going through the process of recognizing it, understanding it, learning how to express it calmly, redirecting your attention from it, and using the strong negative emotions to drive creativity.

 

You now see the value of empathy and understand how it drives you to understanding your offender because you get to see from the offender’s unique viewpoint. You are able to realize and acknowledge the possibly unique factors that could have led the person to do what he did. Understanding makes it easier to come to terms with the reality. It is possible that you could be holding on to anger caused by a person who did not even realize that they were hurting you. Others will hurt you and not care about it, nevertheless.

 

You have also learned how to redirect and channel your negative energy and use it as a drive for activities that demand creativity. You could try out a new hobby like drawing or painting. Some people even turn it to humor. I bet you did not know that jokes are create from the negative experiences comedian has gone through. You can also behave like a comedian and try to come up with some light jokes to help diffuse the sadness and tension that an unfortunate event causes.

 

You have also learned about the role of forgiveness in the management of anger. It enables you to give up the ownership and right to all negative emotions, so that you are disassociated from all negative emotions. This way, even if you remember the offenders and their actions, you will be okay, neither sad nor angry.

 

Finally, if you found this book useful in any way, a review on Amazon is always appreciated!

 

Description

There is always a benefit attached to having a detailed outline of what to do, and even better, clear and practical instructions in regard to what you should do in each step. This is the reason why you are asked to write a thesis and an outline before you begin working on any literary work. This is exactly what the Anger Management: 12 Step Guide to Recognize and Control Anger, Develop Emotional Intelligence, and Self Discipline is. It gives you an outline of the 12 most critical steps that you should take to manage your anger.

 

To that end, this book is arranged into 12 brief chapters that detail the steps you ought to take in the process of managing anger by recognizing, and controlling anger, to develop self-discipline and emotional intelligence that you need to maneuver through life and to guide the relationships you form with others. This book begins by indicating to you the need for you to accept your anger rather than suppressing it. It would actually be impossible for you to deal with something that you have not taken ownership of.

 

Once you accept that you are angry, you need to understand where the nature of your anger by determining its origins, its triggers, and the signs your body produces to indicate that the anger is about to surface. Once you realize this, you can quickly take control of the situation. The techniques the book offers to deal with your anger once you have understood it include pausing before you react, expressing your anger in a calm manner, practicing empathy, redirecting your focus from the triggers of anger, and how to channel your anger in a creative way.

 

Besides having to control the feelings, you can also choose to get rid of the negative feelings and their effects entirely by releasing the pent up emotions through exercise, and seeking solutions to the issues that bother you. You will also realize the importance of giving yourself and others a break, room for mistakes, by lowering your expectations in regard to what they do and what you do too. The ideal tool, however, to help you overcome all these emotions, however, is to forgive and to let go of all the pain, and the hurt.

 

Lastly, inside this book you will find a discussion on how different strategies you can take to incorporate all these steps into your daily routine. For example, you will find therein a guide to help you in the process of forgiving, and for taking up humor to overcome anger in your life.  Therefore, to get started on the process of overcoming anger, get started by purchasing this book today!

 

Inside you will find:

A 12-step illustration of the most critical steps to take in your quest to overcome anger

The most explicit definition and illustration of anger and its influence in your life

A number of Interesting relatable stories to help you identify with the steps discussed in this book

A clear depiction of the exercises that are ideal for getting rid of anger and its influences

The most engaging discussion indicating how you ought to redirect your focus from things that anger you

A description of empathy and the right way to express it

Advice on how to give yourself and others a break from responsibility

 
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