Introduction

Naturally, it is always recommended that child rearing is a responsibility of both the mother and the father to the kid. Happy and stable marriages are the ideal setting for childbearing and rearing. Nevertheless, this is not always the case as most of the marriages today end up in divorce, and many of these break-ups have children involved. In addition, the number of children being born out of wedlock has continued to increase over the years thus making the number children living with either parent increase every day (Lau, Valeri, McCarty, & Weisz, 2006). Consequently, the concept of co-parenting has become popular over the years as the parents may decide to bring up their children together despite their differences. In essence, ‘’co-parenting’’ is a term used to refer to a situation whereby two people are involved in raising a child despite not being in a romantic relationship.  Although such instances ensure that children get basic needs such as education, and medical, there are serious social challenges that are related to such settings. This paper will have an in-depth analysis of negative bearing of co-parenting in our society today.

Discussion

As aforementioned, the number of divorce cases and the child born out of wedlock is increasing every day. Although the children in such instances have access to basic services such as education, healthcare, and shelter, these children lack other equally important services. Consequently, co-parenting is said to have numerous social challenges on the side of the children (Grych, 2001).  Lack of two parents bringing up their children has several adverse incidences that mostly affect the lives of these kids. For instance, the children lack an opportunity to have adequate time to share with both parents like others in the society. This may lead to social problems such as loneliness to these children as they don’t have enough time to be with both parents. Such children may be victims of mockery from their fellow children who enjoys the presence of their two parents, especially at their early years.

On the same note, children who lack the attention of both parents may also experience school problems. Although the two parents strive to pay the school fees and other requirements, these children lack the necessary support that is essential for improved performance (Baker & Fine, 2014). For example, the one parent who has the responsibility of living with the child may be very busy with other household and career activities and hence neglect to look at their child’s academic progress. In addition, mockery and sarcasm from fellow students may adversely affect their concentration in school and consequently have adverse effects on the overall academic performance of the child.

Another negative social bearing on co-parenting is the existence of learning disorders, anxiety, and depression. It is imperative to note that most of the divorce cases experienced in the modern society are as a result of domestic violence between couples. Consequently, most of these students have been brought up in a violent environment, and this would have an adverse effect on the daily lives of these children. Many children have as a result brought about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  In essence, the level of concentration in their academics and school work can be significantly affected by the lack of good parenting from both parents.  These children are mainly concentrating on challenges left at home rather than concentrating on their academics. The long-run effects of these problems would result in depression and anxiety which would be disastrous to the society (Haller & Chassin, 2011). Most children show strong reactions to their parents’ divorce, especially over a period of one or two years following divorce. The departure of one parent and inadequate information about the reasons for divorce often cause externalizing disorders and to a lesser degree internalizing disorders in children.

As aforementioned, most of these kids are brought up in a violent environment. This environment would result to increase in indiscipline which can be harmful to them or others in the society. Children raised in an extreme environment may tend to be violent in schools and other social gatherings. For example, previous researchers indicate that most cases of violence in schools are as a result of single parenting. These violence cases continue even after school and may lead to self-injuries, injuries to others and fatalities in extreme circumstances (Seginer, 2006). Increased levels of indiscipline in the society can be attributed to poor parenting and more so due to co-parenting. Levels of defiance, recklessness and an ‘’I don’t care attitude’’ is also prevalent amongst children in a co-parenting setting.  It is prudent to note that two parents can make stringent rules together as opposed to single parents. The two parents can also afford to enforce their children to follow their rules strictly and hence reduce the levels of indiscipline in the society.  In essence, previous studies have confirmed that children are twice as likely to be aggressive, violent and disruptive if they had parents who were violent.

Furthermore, most antisocial behaviors experienced in the society today can be attributed negatives attributes of co-parenting. As aforementioned, most of the children in a co-parenting program find it to complete their education. On the other hand, those who complete their schooling do excel in their education, and hence they find it difficult to find well-paying jobs like their counterparts who have the privilege of both parenting. Consequently, these people will find themselves in awkward positions financially and may end up engaging in criminal activities. Most cases of robbery, theft and murder in America are attributed to adverse effects of co-parenting (Lau, Valeri, McCarty, & Weisz, 2006). Furthermore, most of these children are hopeless in life and may be involved in suicide, alcoholism, and drug abuse (Grych, 2001).  Such unsuitable behaviors may also lead to early pregnancies among girls ad this will only accelerate the problems associated with co-parenting.

It is worth noting that children brought up by two parents have the chance of gaining emotions from both parents. Nevertheless, this is not the case in instances where co-parenting prevails. Single parents are not able to show the same emotions as married couples can because the love between a mother and a father plays an important part in a family. It is critical to understand that children learn essential aspects such as love from their parents. Therefore, if the two parents are not there to cultivate love amongst their children, then it may be difficult for these children to love others. It is worth noting that children learn a lot from peaceful co-existent between their parents (Baker & Fine, 2014). Although one parent can show love to their children, they have no love to express love to.  Consequently, these children may lack role models or a learning experience of how couples should love one another. This explains why the cases of co-parenting still continue to increase as these children rarely get into relationships.

On the same note, relationships are important aspects in a social setting and every person is in dire need of it. It is critical for every parent to ensure the existence of a strong relationship between themselves and their children. Nevertheless, this does not happen during co-parenting as children lack the privilege of getting sufficient care from one of the parents. According to previous studies, children who are brought up by both parents are more likely to respect the authority as opposed to those under co-parenting (Carlson & England, 2011). This disobedience is carried from the household to the society’s level where such children will always be on the wrong side of the law. Many criminal activities happening in the society today can be attributed to the adverse attributes of co-parenting. The problem with a single parent is the fact that usually, the single parent does not have the time to help the child develop a close relationship with them. As a result, the children fail to get an opportunity to be cautioned against being involved in criminal activities.

It is prudent to note that co-parenting makes it difficult for the children to have close ties with one of their parents. In most cases, the children involved in co-parenting usually have close ties with one parent, one who lives with them, as they hold contempt to the other parent. In essence, a child cannot build a healthy relationship with a parent they do not live with and often do not see on a regular basis (Seginer, 2006). The simple fact is that children need both of their parents in the household to build a close relationship with and to teach them to respect the parent’s authority. Nevertheless, this is not possible under co-parenting and thus making it difficult for the children to respect those parents whom they do not stay together. For example, if a child stays with the mother, there are high chances that they may have a lot of disrespect for men. Children also have a greater risk of losing significant relationships with friends, family members, and especially the non-resident parent, usually the father (Grych, 2001). Children’s relationships with their fathers frequently deteriorate, because they see each other less frequently. In extreme cases, there are instances where these kids have disobeyed and treated with contempt other men in the society.

Another problem that is substantially associated with co-parenting is a lack of role models for these children. It is wise to point out that gender plays a major role in a family set up. Over the years, men and men have distinct socially acceptable behaviors and characteristics.  These behaviors and characteristics are developed as children grow (Lau, Valeri, McCarty, & Weisz, 2006).  It is from these features that people develop into responsible fathers and mothers. For instance, in many societies, men are considered to be more physically stronger than women and hence they have the capability to do more than women (Carlson & England, 2011). On the other hand, women are known to do household chores and tending the children.  Nevertheless, under co-parenting, one of the parents is missing and hence making it difficult for these children to distinguish the different roles of men and women. Consequently, most of these children may lack essential traits that are related to their genders thus being a source of social conflict.

Although children raised by separated parents may get access to all the vital services including health and education, they are at high risk of getting into economic hardships. In most cases, these children end up dropping out of schools thus finding it difficult to get into formal employment. Also, the children may be neglected at a tender age as compared to other children with care from both parents. Furthermore, these children may not afford good shoes, phones consumer products and good clothes like those owned by fellow children (Baker & Fine, 2014). As a result, these children may opt to survive on their own in search of financial success. This led these children to criminal activities such as theft and burglary.  They are also involved in alcoholism and other hard drugs to relieve themselves from the stressful life.  In some cases, some children, especially girl child, are involved in some antisocial behaviors such as prostitution. Some of these behaviors are disastrous t o the society (Haller & Chassin, 2011).  For instance, the prostitution behavior can increase the spread of STDs like HIV/AIDs, which can be very devastating to the society.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, cases of parent separation, divorce, and the child born out of wedlock have increased significantly in the recent years.  As a result, co-parenting has become a popular aspect of the modern society as a consequence of the increased cases of separated parents. Although the children have access to basic and fundamental needs such as food, shelter, clothing and education, co-parenting is classified as a primary source of several anti-social behaviors experienced in the modern society (Seginer, 2006).  It is evident that depression, anxiety, drug addiction, violence, theft, burglary, prostitution and other anti-social behaviors are as a result of co-parenting. Regardless of family structure, the quality of parenting is one of the best predictors of children’s emotional and social well-being. Many single parents, however, find it difficult to function effectively as parents (Carlson & England, 2011). Compared with continuously married parents, they are less emotionally supportive of their children, have fewer rules, dispense harsher discipline, are more inconsistent in dispensing discipline, provide less supervision, and engage in more conflict with their children. After all, it takes two to make a child; it should take two to raise a child.

References

Baker, A. & Fine, P. (2014). Co-parenting with a toxic ex. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill/Irwin.

Carlson, M. & England, P. (2011). Social class and changing families in an unequal America. Stanford, Calif.: Stanford University Press.

Grych, J. (2001). On the Origins of Fathering: Implications of an Evolutionary Perspective for Understanding Links Among Marriage, Divorce, and Men’s Parenting. Parenting, 1(1-2), 67-70. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15295192.2001.9681211

Haller, M. & Chassin, L. (2011). The Unique Effects of Parental Alcohol and Affective Disorders, Parenting, and Parental Negative Affect on Adolescent Maladjustment. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 57(3), 263-292. http://dx.doi.org/10.1353/mpq.2011.0014

Lau, A., Valeri, S., McCarty, C., & Weisz, J. (2006). Abusive parents’ reports of child behavior problems: Relationship to observed parent-child interactions. Child Abuse & Neglect, 30(6), 639-655. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2005.11.009

Seginer, R. (2006). Parents’ Educational Involvement: A Developmental Ecology Perspective. Parenting, 6(1), 1-48. http://dx.doi.org/10.1207/s15327922par0601_1

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