My entire summer of 2015 was adventurous and fun.  Therefore, I choose not to condense my exciting moment into a single day, but rather I will entail it as a single summer break.  My activities for the summer of 2015, included visits to the beach, the pool, the mall, “Coca Cola World,” visiting two other states, going to church, cheerleading, going to camp, hanging with friends, and celebrating my birthday.  By far, this has been the best summer.  Indeed, this has been the best summer ever because it was action packed with continuous learning and fun.

The highlight of the summer was in celebration of July 20^th, 2001, a day that a very special person was born.  In the Williams household, this is an annual celebration day to commemorate my birthday, and was in fact the best day of the summer.  Initially, I thought it would be the worst day ever because I was stuck at a Math and Science camp. The camp was located at “The School of Science and Math in Durham, so I couldn’t just come home on my demand.  My birthday was on July twentieth; however, camp didn’t end until the twenty-fourth. Although I returned home four days after my birthday, I came home only to discover that my family was honoring me with a surprise party.  Even though, I didn’t experience the adrenaline rushing through my veins at 11:59 p.m. on July 19^th, or the anticipation, anxiety, and appreciation that would be shown at 12:00 a.m. on July 20^th, my new friends at the camp celebrated with me .

The fact that they thought enough of me to celebrate my birthday was exciting in itself.  But, the fact that my family planned a surprise party for me upon my return was truly surreal.  This was actually my first surprise party.  I have had many parties before, but none quite like this and I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed the surprise party, and would love to have another one; however, a surprise birthday party can only be thrown once in a blue moon otherwise it loses the luster of the element of surprise.   After being away from my family for the first time ever on my birthday, I thought I would be depressed for a long time while at the camp.

Although I was initially determined not to attend the summer camp because the dates overlapped my birthday, my camp experience was priceless.  It was after I filled out and sent my application, that I realized that I no longer wanted to attend the camp because it was two-weeks long and would include a stay there on my birthday. After I received the news that I had been accepted to the prestigious camp, I refused to go; however, my mother determined that my opinion in this case didn’t matter, began making preparation for my camp stay.

Although I didn’t want to go at first, when I got there I had an unexplainable impeccable, wonderful experience and developed unbreakable bonds with the people at the camp.  I never knew it was possible to become so attached to people in a period of 14 days. I met a lot of friends, and it was the exact opposite of everything I thought it would be.  In fact, my experience of the camp taught me that you can’t judge someone/ something based on what you think, hear, read, or see. So, every time I have to do something new I remember my camp experience and I am reminded of the phrase, “mother knows best”.  Had the opportunity been solely in my hands, I would have missed a grand opportunity, now I am striving to gain admission to the North Carolina School of Science and Math in my junior year of high school.  What a difference a summer can make.  Besides the camp, I also enjoyed other activities.

My final summer adventures included trips to Virginia and Atlanta.  The Virginia experience was nothing short of fun, exciting, and amazing. During our visit we went to Water Country USA and Kings Dominion amusement parks. We went to Water Country USA as a celebration for my friend’s birthday, which we thoroughly enjoyed despite the awful tan and long lines for rides. Although the park was fun, we had the most fun at the resort. We spent four nights at an extremely nice resort for my friend, Faith’s birthday.  We also visited Kings Dominion.  The Kings Dominion trip yielded exhilarating feelings and mixed emotions from the roller coasters.  The thrills of the rides are truly unexplainable. Although we had a lot of fun in Virginia, I had the most fun in Atlanta. While in Atlanta we visited “Coca Cola World,” which was so fascinating.  We sampled many of the more than 100 flavors of “Coca Cola” from various locations throughout the world. The factory was extremely fun; unfortunately, I wasn’t able to taste all of the flavors because they made my stomach hurt.

In conclusion, I had the best summer ever. Although I was stuck at camp on my birthday, the surprise party reimbursed me for every tear I had to cry while I was there, primarily the first night and on my birthday. From the camp, I learned that, you can’t judge a book by its cover, and at the “Coca Cola World,” I realized that if you exercise your soda tasting skills, your stomach will hurt.  The experience at the “World of Coca Cola” also taught me that if you taste all one under flavors, you would win a free trip to the bathroom. This is a summary of why summer 2015 was so amazing to me.

Appendix

I have proofread and edited your essay. I also corrected the grammatical errors in the essay making sure that the arrangement of ideas was intact. In other instances, I have removed words and sentences that were redundant. In addition, I have used conjunctions to give the essay the necessary flow.

In the first paragraph, I replaced the phrase ‘I would venture to say that’ with the more appropriate word ‘Indeed”. In the second paragraph, I replaced ‘this is an annual celebration day, and was in fact, the best day of the summer, which was my birthday” with ‘this is an annual celebration day to commemorate my birthday, and was in fact the best day of the summer.’ To give the sentence a better flow.

On the first line of the second last paragraph, I removed the words ‘to visit’ because they were redundant. In the same paragraph, I added the phrase ‘nothing short of…” to give the ideas free flow. In addition, I used conjunctions to join hanging sentences thus communicating the message more effectively. The second last sentence was also changed from the passive to the active voice.

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