Introduction

Communication seems to be a simple concept, but can be very complex. Most of the times the things that people desire to say get lost during translation despite the good intentions that people have. Someone might say one thing, but the other party understands something quite different. This aspect tends to result to misunderstandings, conflicts and frustrations. Most of the differences that exist while communicating are shaped by the cultural backgrounds that people exhibit. Gender also plays a huge role in this determination. Men and women tend to differ in their aspects of communication, whereby women are more inclined to usage of metamessages while men are quite conversant with direct communication.

Part 1

A

Tannen views metamessages as a form of indirect communication. This is where people want to be understood without saying what they mean explicitly. The meaning is normally conveyed in other ways like how the words are spoken or the tone used. Women are more likely to use this form of communication in an attempt of reaching an agreement by way of negotiation. It also helps them in displaying an aspect of solidarity.

B

Metamessages are underlying messages that could be implied or inferred from messages. This is what most individuals refer to as “reading between the lines.” People do not need to spell out exactly what they mean, but it can be generated based on how they communicate. Something can become obvious based on how it was said, than what was actually said.

Part 4

From my personal experience, I think Tannen’s views about men’s and women’s talk is quite true. There are differences experienced now and then. I have come to realize that as women we tend to over-analyze conversations that we have with men. This is something that I have observed in my past relationships. I am quite privy to details. The moment a man says something I tend to try and figure out what he meant. Sometimes this aspect results in arguments since the man ends up saying that I am putting words in his mouth. Sometimes I become extremely mad for things that he did not utter with his mouth, but through the assumption of what he really wanted to imply.

In order to find out whether other people had similar sentiments about Tannen’s article, I had to interview my peers concerning the contents of the article. I had to explain what the article was all about, and the content included before requiring them to provide me with a response. AAA was the first person that I interviewed on this issue.  She started by narrating that Tannen’s comments on how boys and girls are brought up were quite on point. “When growing up, I had a very different experience with that of my brother; who is younger than me actually.” AAA said that his brother was accorded more laxity despite him being younger. Her parents used different communication prompts while addressing them. Live alone the language; the tone was quite different even if they were involved with a similar issue. AAA asserts that such an aspect would result to them viewing things in a contrasting manner once they grow. It would be difficult for them to be on a similar line of thought.

BBB on her part thinks that the article has reflected on reality. She says that on several occasions she has to argue with her boyfriend based on the comments that he made. She asserts that it is not clear whether what the boyfriend says is what he meant or there was some hidden meaning. “Sometimes I even wonder whether I am being paranoid since we can take even hours arguing on very simple comments that he makes; even complements.” However, she says after getting the details of Tannen’s article, she is now at piece since she can see that it is a universal thing.

CCC on the other hand, had a different perspective about the article. She said that even if what Tannen was demonstrating is true, it is not common with all women. CCC asserts that she has never experienced this while communicating with her boyfriend. “We understand each other quite well, and I have never found myself fighting with him over comments that he made.” She says that if they fight, it is because of something that he said straight forward, and not her creating a meaning for his words.

In order to have an all round input, I also interviewed my male counterparts to hear their sentiments on this issue. XXX was very excited upon hearing the topic that I had brought to him. “That is why we keep arguing with my girlfriend over petty issues. That article is on point.” Those were his exact words. XXX thought that now she has an answer as to why his girlfriend keeps harassing him on ‘small’ things that he says.

YYY on his part thinks that the article is quite reasonable. “Many were the times that my ex made me feel that my intellectual capacity was quite low.” YYY made this statement because his ex-girlfriend used to comprehend his statements in a different way compared to how he said them. He said that there were times he would sit back and see her point of view based on the nature of arguments that they had. However, there are times that he thought her girlfriend was paranoid and they had to break-up. He thinks that this article has now enlightened him.

ZZZ disagreed with Tannen’s views. He believes that it has portrayed women as being superior compared to men. ZZZ did not want to comment more on the article.

Suciu (2015) asserts that communication tends to be cross-cultural. People tend to learn how to communicate, and as they grow in different circumstances, they tend to develop different communication styles. Suciu (2015) thinks that miscommunication tends to arise based on what people say and how they say it; metamessage. Expectations based on the appropriate reaction that people are supposed to show also results to miscommunication. She also asserts that women tend to desire involvement in communication, something that men view as a threat to their independence. This shows the difference that exists between men and women with regards to communication.

Werthner (2001) states that women tend to be different compared to men when it comes to communication. She reviews the concept of various professional experts in certain fields. Werthner (2001) asserts that men in these categories tend to talk a lot compared to women. She also states that men usually use “I” in most contexts that women use “we.”

Tsuda (1993) on the other hand, postulates that women like being indirect in their communication. This means that they don’t state their will clearly. This gives their partner the option of making a decision. It is their way of showing consideration to their partners. They expect their partners to understand them at all time since they have been together for a substantial amount of time. This aspect complicates their communication with men. Men tend to desire direct communication hence, there is a probability of miscommunication arising.

Works Cited

Suciu, Giulia. “Using Information to Make or Break Your Relationship.” Journal of Romanian      Literary Studies 7 (2015): 668-73. Web.

Tsuda, Sanae. “Indirectness in Discourse: What Does It Do in Conversation?” Intercultural           Communication Studies III (1993): n. pag. Web.

Werthner, Penny. “Understanding the Differences Between How Women and Men           Communicate.” Canadian Journal for Women in Coaching 1.5 (2001): 8. Web.

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